Who Wants to be a Millionaire Star Wars Style
by thisarylwren
Summary: Our favorite prequel and original trilogy characters fight for the chance to win 1,000,000 credits. Starring Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Anakin, Sidious, Jango Fett, Darth Maul, Mace Windu, and Luke Skywalker. [complete]


Hehe, I wrote this when I was really bored and reruns of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire came on the TV.  So this came out of it...now for the legal stuff.  The show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" is owned by...ABC, I think, or whoever created it.  I didn't make it up.  Star Wars characters belong to Lucas.  No copyright infringement is intended; no moolah made off of this.  Okay, legal stuff aside, here we go...

(and yes, I'm aware that the characters are just *slightly* hyper)

**Want to be a Millionaire – Star Wars Style!******

Master Yoda: Hello and welcome to Who Wants to be A Millionaire, with your host Master Yoda!

Anakin: Wow, he's talking normally now.

Master Yoda: Silent, you _will _be!  Or win, you shall not...

Anakin: Well, I do want to be rich and powerful...*decides to shut up*

Master Yoda: As I was saying...we have eight contestants tonight!  Mace Windu!  Obi-Wan Kenobi!  Qui-Gon Jinn!  Anakin Skywalker!  Darth Maul!  Darth Sidious!  Luke Skywalker!  And lastly, Jango Fett.

*room explodes in noise and shouts of, "HEY, YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!" and "MASTER!!!  YOU'RE ALIVE!"*

Master Yoda: *thump cane on floor* All of you SHUT UP RIGHT NOW!

Anakin: *whispering* I still can't believe he's talking normally!

Master Yoda: Skywalker, I'm warning you.  Tonight will begin with the fastest finger question.

Jango Fett: Damn, I'm only one without those Jedi reflexes...*looks at Luke* No wait. I do have a chance.

Master Yoda: Arrange these Sith Lords in order of when they reigned.

Sidious: Oh man, this is going to be so easy.

Obi-Wan: That's so unfair!  How are we supposed to know?  The Sith have been extinct for a millennia! 

Anakin: Technically, Master, they weren't extinct, just hiding in the shadows.

Master Yoda: Time up!

Anakin: *blinking* WHAT???  *whirls on Obi-Wan*  YOU DISTRACTED ME!

Obi-Wan: *glumly* Hey, I didn't get a chance to enter anything either.  And I came with my patented series of codes too.

Qui-Gon: Now, now, Anakin, breathe out your anger.  Obi-Wan, you will tell me your patented codes...*waves hand through air*

Obi-Wan: Right...like I'm going to fall for that _again._

Master Yoda: And the winner is...Darth Maul!

Sidious: _WHAT?_  *glares at Maul* You will suffer for this...

Maul: *considering* On second thought, I would like to pass up my position and offer it to my Master, Darth Sidious.  

Sidious: *cracks knuckles* Wise choice, Maul.

Maul: Thank you, Master.  *leaves table*

Master Yoda: Okay, Darth Sidious, please take the hot seat.  Now for the first question, worth 100 credits – 

Sidious: *waves hand through air* It is worth 1,000,000 credits.

Master Yoda: *humphs* Nice try, buster.

Sidious: It was, wasn't it?

Master Yoda: *clears throat* So anyways...first question, "Name the first chancellor.  A: Mhods.  B. Quiope.  C. Quakly  D. Cjdels."

Sidious: Eck, why would a Sith Lord care?  

Master Yoda: If you get this right, you get credits, remember?

Sidious: Well then, I wish to poll the audience.  *turns toward audience*  If you get this wrong, I will kill you all!  *smiles pleasantly*  Please proceed.

Audience polls majority on "A".  

Sidious: I will go with the audience, you old green troll.  *look of pain crosses his face as Yoda gives him a good thwack with the gimer stick*

Yoda: Final answer?

Sidious: Yes.

Yoda: I'm sorry, A is incorrect...

Sidious: *waves hand through air* A is correct...

Yoda: A _is_ correct.

Sidious: See, it's always worth it to try.

Qui-Gon: What?  You cheater!

Mace: I think from now on, no Jedi mind tricks are allowed in this game.

Anakin: Damn.

Sidious: *smirking* Okay.  By the way, Maul, do you mind finishing off the audience for me?  A good shot with the Death Star once I win my million will suffice.

Luke: Hey, I destroyed that thing!

Sidious: Quiet, my young apprentice.  Maul, hop to!

Maul: Yes, Master.

Yoda: Second question, worth 200 credits.  When was I born?  A. 2891 B. 5923 C. 2921, D. 4239.

Sidious: D.  Final answer.  Move it!

Yoda: *whacks Sidious* Impatience is the path to the dark side!

Luke: I thought you said fear was the path -   
  


Yoda: Quiet you will be!  *mutters to self*  Like father, like son...D is correct for 200 credits.  Next question worth 500 credits.  Who killed Darth Maul?

Sidious: What a pathetically easy question!  Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Obi-Wan: Damn right I did.  And don't you forget it!

Yoda: Final answer?

Sidious: Duh.

Yoda: Obi-Wan Kenobi is incorrect.  Answer choice B, is correct.

Sidious: WHAT?

Anakin: Hah!  You missed the easy one!  You idiot!

Obi-Wan: Anakin, what have I told you about mocking Sith Lords?  
  


Anakin: Sorry, Master.

Sidious: Deeply sorry, Obi-Wan, but I'll have to choke him for that.

Obi-Wan: It's really no problem.  I would do it myself, but Jedi are supposed to keep a good image on public television.

Sidious: *choking Anakin until he faints.  Crowd cheers*  

Obi-Wan: Thank you.

Sidious: My pleasure.

Yoda: Sidious, you're still out.  We need to begin the next fastest finger question.

Sidious: *speaking into comlink* Maul, wait five minutes, and then fire.

Maul: I'm sorry, Master, but I can't quite find the Death Star.  Where did you park it?

Luke: *smugly* Told you I destroyed it.

Sidious: Luke, get over here.  You're coming with me to rebuild it.

Luke: But I was going to go to Toshi Station to pick up some power converters!

Sidious: *glares* Fine.  I'll just tell a certain Mara Jade -   
  


Luke: *blushes* I'm coming, already! *springs out of seat and leaves with Sidious*

Yoda: So now we have four candidates left!  Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jango Fett, and Mace Windu.  Our next fastest finger -   
  


Mace: *interrupting* Master Yoda, before we begin, I would like to remind you I still have those pictures from the Senate meeting...

Yoda: *swallows hard* And the winner of the fastest finger is Master Mace Windu!

Mace: *swaggers to hot seat* 

Qui-Gon: *mutters* Cheater.

Yoda: First question, worth 100 credits.  Who is the greatest Jedi Master?  A. Plo Koon.  B. Master Yoda. C. Qui-Gon Jinn. D. Mace Windu.

Mace: *considering* I would say B, although it really should be D.  

Yoda: Final answer?

Mace: Yes.

Yoda: Correct!  Although I'm taking 50 credits off for that little comment.

Mace: Yoda...the pictures?

Yoda: On second thought, I'll be _adding _1000 credits to your total score.

Qui-Gon: Objection!  Manipulation of the host!

Mace: Qui, I _hate_ to pull rank on you, but overruled.

Obi-Wan: Masters, this isn't a court of law.

Jango: You're all crazy...how you survive, I'll never know.

Obi-Wan: Come on, Jango!  You and me, one on one, right now!

Jango: I kicked your butt last time!

Mace: Yes, but I beheaded you in the end.

Jango: *cracks knuckles* Yes, we do have a score to settle, don't we?

Yoda: Hello???  We're in the middle of a round here.

Mace: Right.  So, I'm ready for the next question.  I'm the big bad Mace fighting machine.

Qui-Gon: *cough*

Mace: I heard that, Qui...

Obi-Wan: Master, if Mace jumps you, do I _have _to defend you from him?

Qui-Gon: Why you --! *pulls a Homer Simpson and starts strangling Obi-Wan*

Jango: *starts helping*

Mace: Stop this _right now!_

Jango: Party pooper...

Yoda: So anyways...Question number two: Who were - 

*buzzer sounds*

Obi-Wan: Sith, no!  I didn't get a chance to do my patented fastest finger! *dives on a still-reviving Anakin* Padawan, I'll have your head for this!

Qui-Gon: *slicing buzzer in pieces with his lightsaber*

Mace: Haha, you suckers...

Yoda: Growing too old for this, I am...

The End 


End file.
